Hey friends, unfortunately I’ve been busy watching my world go up in flames, this week, and since I don’t smoke cigarettes, anymore, I can’t even use the fire to light one.
I took a drive to Connecticut to pick up some things of mine in storage, and on the way back I was in a car accident. (I was lucky, okay? Super lucky.) I feel so blessed to have gotten good insurance on the rental I was driving, because otherwise, I’d be financially screwed (knocking on wood).
I’ve been struggling with lower back pain, neck pain (whiplash), and more headaches than I normally deal with. It hasn’t been fun.. Two days after, I received a message from somebody that’s made it entirely obvious that they want nothing to do with me, asking for something that is rightfully mine. (Long story, but STILL waiting for that call.)
My emotions are on overdrive, coming up on a year without having Josh with me physically. I feel him watching and listening; I’m sure I’m going crazy, it’s fine. I have memories constantly playing in my head, and I swear I woke up to his laugh, this morning.
I want to write my thoughts and share them with the world, but how do you share intimate moments and traumatic conversations with people that weren’t there and wouldn’t understand reactions.
So for tonight, I’m going to sit here with my pinot noir, apple chips, and give myself a reading (or five) and figure out where I’m going next, because this damn pandemic is going to trap me in Idaho all over again, and I’m super not okay with it.